Whenever I think about that fact that every single person on this planet is experiencing the same event, I am blown away. There is no one unaffected by this pandemic. Yet, regardless of any universal experiences, it is so hard to cope for so many people.
These past few months have called for a lot of reflecting, deep thinking, dark moments, discovery, and much much more. I will say, my introverted self is not too unhappy staying at home with my boyfriend, Ryan, and our two dogs every single day. Not having to build up the strength to go out, or be drained after being with a large group of people suits me pretty well most days. Of course I miss my friends and family dearly, and I am so looking forward to the next time I can be with everyone, but I have enjoyed some of the time being alone.
That being said, this has not been easy. I know a lot of people can relate to struggles with mental health during this time, and everything that goes along with it. I have struggled to write (hello to this post coming over 3 months since the last). Having any sort of routine has been difficult, and small daily activities that bring me joy have seemed to get lost. Processing this insane experience that we are all going through makes my mind spiral pretty often. I’ve drafted a lot of posts about some tough subjects I do want to talk about. But, I decided that for me, and anyone out there reading, it might be better to have something that might be more productive right now.
While the stay at home orders are being lifted or loosened in some places, I am in New York City where things have been less than calm. I have no idea when I’m going to be working in an office again, when I can be certain it is safe to leave the city and visit my family, or when we’ll be able to have a gathering of more than 5 people. None of us really know where the end of this is and whenever there is an ‘end’, we have no idea what’s coming next. I believe that there will be very few things that go back to the way they were. There will be a completely new normal. Even if you’re in a state or country that is beginning to open up, we can’t be sure that things won’t have to be shut down again soon after.
So, with all of this uncertainty, I decided that I wanted to share a few things that are helping me during quarantine that can maybe help you, too.
*Nothing I reference or link in this post is sponsored in any way, I am simply providing a few resources that I have used and love enough to share*
1. Therapy. Therapy. Therapy!
I am very lucky that my therapist was able to continue weekly sessions online without skipping a beat. Therapy has done wonderful things for me, and I am a true believer that it is for everyone. I first started therapy about 3 years ago, and had been a bit on and off since. About 7 months ago I knew I needed to begin again and be consistent. I had been through a lot last summer, and was in a very scary transitional phase of life.
I found my therapist on a website called MyWellbeing. This website is really great to find a therapist that fits your needs. I just filled out a short quiz about my wants and needs for a therapist. It asks about everything from logistics, to style, to identity and priorities. At the end of the quiz, they give you your top three matches based on your answers, and from there you get to schedule free 15 minute phone consultations with one or all of your matches. After finally taking the quiz, I decided I’d made enough excuses for too long, so I called my top match, had a little chat (after googling “what do you ask a therapist in a consultation?”… I seriously did that…), and scheduled a first session for that week!
I had been to therapy before, so I knew a little bit about what I did and did not like in order to decide. If you are feeling totally lost, that’s OK! That is something that you can come out with right away. Any good therapist will help guide you so you can figure out what will work for both of you and see if you are a good fit! While there are many types/methods of therapy (check out this page for a massive list!), there are lots of differences you can find within those specialties as well. Therapists are individuals, too!
Finding a therapist can sometimes be hard, but just remember that it is for YOU. You must feel comfortable, and heard. You are allowed to ask questions and decide if something isn’t working. If you give it a good honest try, there is nothing wrong with needing something different.
MyWellbeing is specific to NYC and the surrounding areas, but some other great resources are:
Psychology Today– for any location or style.
BetterHelp Counseling, and Talkspace – specifically for online counseling.
2. Getting Outside
(even if it’s only 5 minutes)
The Vermonter within me wishes I still lived on 6 acres of land with the Appalachian Trail crossing through my backyard during this lockdown. I love New York City, and I am so thankful for everything it has to offer, but I do wish having mountains right outside. Even being in the city, though, I have a patio and a rooftop deck so I can get outside without having to leave home.
It’s also finally warm enough most days that the parks in NYC are a great option, as long as you’re able to social distance and/or wear a mask. But even that is hard to do sometimes. I’ll be honest, there are days I barely make it outside to the back patio for 5 minutes. Every time I do though, I notice a huge difference in the rest of my day. It’s not the same as that fresh Green Mountain air, but even just a bit of sun does wonders, I promise!
3. Journaling
I’ve been journaling for most of my life, but I will be the first to say that I am not nearly as consistent as I’d like to be! Unless I open my journal because I suddenly need to get something out on paper, or I’m trying to process a specific experience, my first sentence is something to the tune of “I’m not sure what to write about today…” Some days my journaling sessions don’t end up being much, and other days I work through something big and have a good cry.
Things that have helped me when I really don’t feel like journaling, or if I feel blocked are: putting on some music, lighting a candle or turning on my diffuser with essential oils, and maybe just writing the day of the week over and over until I have a thought. Any thought that feels worthy of writing down, then usually ends up carrying me through a longer entry.
No matter how I feel at the beginning of journaling, I always get something out of it at the end. Maybe I just list everything I did so far today (which is honestly not a lot sometimes), and then I feel ready to do something more productive afterwards. Other times I might re-live a sad memory from when I was 8 years old, and then I just need to watch “The Office” for the next 4 hours.
All answers are correct when journaling. You never know what you’re going to write or how it will make you feel!
4. Revamp Your Space
Just before we went into quarantine I had just moved in with my boyfriend, Ryan and we got a new puppy together. I had been settling in pretty well, but I was still going to work 5 days a week, going out some nights… and well, there was just a lot more going on!
One of the great parts of quarantine has been the amount of time we’ve gotten to spend home with our little puppy, Jack while he is still so young. I have also been able to create more of my own space in our house. Ryan had lived in this house for about 5 years before I moved in, so there was a bit of rearranging that had to be done. I never really got to dive into it until I started working from home (and then even more so once I was given a reduced work week).
After Ryan had the idea, we cleaned up a desk in the corner of the bedroom that had been being used for extra storage. This became a really fun project for me. I had to rearrange a bunch of things in order to make this space a nice desk for myself. Plus, since I’m spending every single day at home, I got to really live in it and make minor adjustments whenever I wanted to, to make sure it was just right.
Now, in our decent but still very much New York sized apartment, we each have our own separate and unique work spaces. This was really a game changer for me because I was working from the living room for the first few weeks of quarantine. I didn’t really mind it at the time, but since setting up my space I have felt much more productive. Having my own space allows me to get in a better mindset than I was able to while in the living room all day. It also makes me feel even more at home with a little space that I got to make all my own.
If you don’t have a new space to create at home, you can do this a number of ways. You can reorganize or rearrange a room that feels stagnant: This can be as simple as swapping some artwork between rooms or cleaning up one drawer or cabinet at a time. You can even revamp an underutilized space, like an open corner by adding a plant, lamp, or mirror to brighten up the room! I always turn to Pinterest for ideas!
5. Do Not Disturb
This one takes less than 3 seconds to do, and I highly recommend. Even if you decide to try it for just one day.
I have my phone on “do not disturb” all day, every day. The funny thing is, I can not tell you when I did this or why. I honestly think I must have done it overnight, or during a work call and I just never turned it off. It is so much more freeing than I would have thought, and I have yet to miss anything really important because of it. All this has done for me is cause less interruptions if I am working on something, and gets my phone out of my hands a little bit more.
I still scroll through social media maybe close to as much as I did before, and I am honestly very hooked on watching TikToks as of recently, but I do feel that my phone has become less of a distraction when need be. I check it only once every so often when I think about it. Then, I only open it if there is a notification I actually want to view at that moment, or if there is something that may be time sensitive and/or I want to make sure I respond right away (like from a colleague or my mom!)
When notifications would pop up and my phone would buzz, I would always pick up the phone right away, and end up scrolling through who knows what, for who knows how long. While having “do not disturb” turned on, I have found that I am much more intentional with the use of my phone.
Of course, if you are someone who gets phone calls you cannot miss, or you have any reason to need all notifications on, by all means please don’t miss something important! What you can do, is limit notifications within specific apps, or even change the sound/vibration to distinguish between what you might need to see right away versus things that can wait. You can always play around and find what might work for you. Like I said, this was a happy accident I decided really worked for me during this time, so I stuck with it!
6. Cleaning out Social Media
This ties right in to #5!! Becoming more intentional with the use of my phone was not just a one click, or one thought process. I decided it was something I really wanted to commit to doing. Instagram is my most used app, so this is where I really wanted to clean things up. This involved scanning through all the people I followed and deciding if I really wanted them to be in my newsfeed. I had to decide if I wanted more or less of things in certain areas.
Unfollowing even just a small number of accounts changed my newsfeed drastically! I started seeing posts from people who I thought never posted, but were actually extremely active online. I never saw them because of the other (maybe larger) accounts that would pop up I didn’t necessarily care about.
I want to point out as well, that this isn’t a numbers game. My goal was not to simply get my following list from 2,000 to 1,500 or anything like that. I might have even followed more people! There were a handful of accounts I really loved and wanted to see more of the same. So, I filled my newsfeed with things that I really wanted to be seeing. Of course you can’t control what people post, but you can set yourself up for as much success as you can control, and work on how it affects you while you’re viewing any number of things. Following specific hashtags is a really fun way to find new accounts that you might like, as well!
I didn’t want my scrolling to be mindless anymore, I wanted it to be mindful. This is still an ongoing process, and I usually make adjustments on my account whenever it is convenient.
7. Cooking and Baking
I’ll say, Ryan and I have been crushing it in the kitchen the past few months and it has been a blast! We were definitely culprits of ordering in a time too many during the week due to hectic schedules and such, but we have really branched out since this all started.
We’ve jumped on the sourdough bandwagon big time, making loaves of bread, bagels, pizza dough, and even pancakes! We have cooked dinner nearly every night now, and that just was not a part of our normal routine before. It’s been beneficial in a few different ways – it’s something we are doing together almost every day, we are eating healthier because of it, and we’re making plans and saving recipes that we can easily make again once our schedules become a little more dense after quarantine.
When it comes to cooking, I already had a pretty good skill set and a couple meals I used to make for myself from time to time, and Ryan had his own knowledge as well. We have both expanded that so much so, and are trying things we wouldn’t have thought of before!
When it comes to baking, though, neither of us had a ton of experience. He had a bit more than I did, (he even had Home Economics in school which is more than I can say… where did that go?), but we’ve both learned so much! We’ve made a few desserts, but sourdough baking has definitely been my favorite. It is so much easier than I ever thought, and everything we’ve made has come out great even just on the first try!
You can make a sourdough starter from scratch, or you can actually buy it online. Once you have it and begin feeding it and baking with it, it can pretty much be endless. If you’re feeling up to it, most of the recipes we’ve tried are from the Little Spoon Farm. I am in no way affiliated with this page, but I have loved all the recipes we’ve tried, and they even post on youtube as well so you can see what things are supposed to look like as you go!
I’ve discovered a lot during quarantine; about the world, having a puppy, living with a partner, how I function without deadlines… I’ve been faced with things from my life I thought I had healed from, and turns out that I was just ignoring them.
The list is endless. I am thankful that we’ve been given this time to rest and reflect, but I also can’t wait to do so many things that are not available right now. I can’t wait to dance in a studio again, hug my parents, kiss my nieces and nephews, see a live performance, find a new coffee shop, run into an old friend walking down the street…
Until then, we wait and we cope.
What are some of the things you’ve done during quarantine that have helped you? Let me know in the comments below, and if you try anything new because of my list I’d love to know! ♥
